Takdir

I ada sorang patient Maria Mariammah (pinjam kosa kata Esah) ni uols. Nak dijadikan cerita, one day patient ni datang for emergecy antenatal check up on kerusi roda with muka lebam, kaki tangan berbalut.

Hasil laporan makcik mulut murai yang kerja sebagai receptionist tu, patient ni jatuh tangga katanya. It is not just that tau. Patient ni overweight. Overweight tu satu hal lah. She also diabetic dan darah tinggi. Lengkap koleksi dia.

Menurut cerita makcik mulut murai tu, patient yang tengah mengandung 28 minggu ni tengah turun tangga sambil dukung anak lelaki dia yang baru berumur setahun. Entah macam mana takdak ribut takdak petir, that patient terasa kepala dia berpusing-pusing semacam, maka jatuh la dia tergolek-golek kat tangga tu, manakala anak lelaki dia yang dia tengah dukung tu tercampak keluar dari tingkap, lalu meninggal ditempat kejadian.

Don't ask me macam mana budak tu boleh tercampak. I can't imagine that either. How the hell that boy boleh tercampak through the window is beyond me. Kesian. She was really upset about it. Sekejap sekejap menangis. Sekejap sekejap menangis.

She was not the only unfortunate cases that I had. Last week alone, ada dekat 10 miscarriages and some of them were from the private practice. Ye lah uols, as I mentioned before (did I?), I tengah gigih kerja siang malam with part time kat private clinic. Kumpul duit nak kawin gituh ahahahaha. Diam kau pondan Dublin! *ops~

Yang kat private clinic ni lagi la tragic. Most patients datang sini as soon as they found out that they are pregnant. Sebab kalau buat kat NHS nak kena tunggu masuk 12 weeks baru scan. So obviously la kena tunggu lama.

So I have one very excited couple yang tak sabar nak tengok baby diorang for the first time. The problem with me, when I get an excited patient, I akan join sekaki menjadi excited. And this couple, they are very well-educated. Ni adalah set set yang jenis know what to expect when you are expected. So diorang tahu how the embryo will looks like on ultrasound. When I put the probe on her tummy, she quickly say, 'Yes that is an embryo. I can see it!!'. Well, she is not wrong. There is an embryo. It just that the embryo have no heart beat. When the embryo measurement correspond with 8 weeks, the heart should be beating. But I see no heart beating and I have to break the bad news. So, in split second, everything changed.

She was very positive about it. I said I am sorry and she said it is not even my fault. She said it just bad luck and it is better to find out now than later. Her positiveness make me feel really sad.

So yeah, when it comes to takdir ni, sapa la kita nak mempersoalkan ketentuanNya kan? Tapi at the same time, kita tak boleh la nak serah pada takdir je uols. Kalau boleh ikhtiar, kita ikhtiar. Kalau boleh elak, kita elak. Kalau dah sendiri cari penyakit, nak kata takdir lagi ke?

So, to all my friends, please look after yourself ye. 

PS: To Zoe, I am sorry for your lost.

Geordie Shore

Hello uols.

I dengan bongkaknya nak bagitau yang sekarang ni I tengah bersiaran secara live dari Newcastle a.k.a Geordieland, where people dengan bangangnya keluar time-time sejuk kejung ni with t-shirt je. I ni siap berbalut-balut macam nasi lemak.



This Angel of the North, a contemporary sculpture by Antony Gormley. Pasai apa dia bina benda ni, I pun tak tau. Probably art semata-mata la kot.



So, disebabkan kagum tahap cipan goreng, orang minyak pun tak nak la lepaskan peluang ambik gambar dengan menatang angle ni.

Tu je update kali. Bye!

- Posted using BlogPress from my from my iPhone

Peace sign vs V sign

Ye adik-adik sekalian. I wrote about this v sign and peace sign before. I know v sign probably not that popular in Malaysia, but it would not kill you to acknowledge that v sign tu adalah equivalently sama celakanya dengan middle finger. Or dalam erti kata lucah lah.



This is peace sign.



And this is V sign.

Nampak sama, tapi tak serupa. With a little twist, peace sign boleh jadi V sign. Habis rosak gambar kawin. Nasib baik bukan dalam masjid kan? Nanti jadi macam kes budak India yang tunjuk middle finger kat kalimah Allah.. *matilah merepek*

So berhati-hatilah kalau ambik gambar with peace sign ye. Sekian.. *matilah entry sejengkal*

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Babi Itu Haram Dimakan

Buat kesekian kalinya, tajuk pun macam haram jugak khennn? Dan kali ni pun I nak meroyan-royan pasal FB jugak. Must you all wonder lah, kalau dah suka meroyan FB, kenapa I tak deactivate je FB tu? I pun boleh tanya balik, you all dok meroyan pasal Malaysia itu ini, apesal tak pindah je keluar dari Malaysia? Haaa jawab? Jawaabbbbbb?? Kita meroyan sebab kita suka tauuuuu!! *matilahhhhh~

I ni suka skodeng and stalking gambar orang. Kenal ke, tak kenal ke...janji elok. Kalau rupa paras sekadar di pinggiran Francesca Peter tu, memang maaaaaalaaaam lah sikit. So tengah-tengah skodeng gambar mobile upload one of my FB friend, one of the picture adalah gambar makanan (of course la kan...nowadays semua orang mesti upload gambar makan, including me) with a caption that he almost termakan babi. Gituh. Eh by the way, if you know who you are, don't worry, I bukan nak carut you. I nak carut yang komen tu.

Taraaaa......

Komen yang paling atas paling celaka

WTF??

Apa yang kau merepek ni syaitonnnn? Apa kaitan hampir termakan babi dengan menyesatkan orang melayu Islam? Siap ada like tu. Yang komen dengan yang tukang like sama-sama bangang maksima.

Diorang tu berniaga. Babi tu memang makanan diorang. Takde kerja diorang nak sesatkan korang semua. Bukannya si tukang jual advertised kat papan tanda 'MAI MAKAN SATAY AYAM MAI' siap tulis HALALAN TOYYIBA besar-besar, which turn out that satay ayam adalah satay babi rupanya. Tu baru la sabotaj namanya dik nun. Ni masalahnya, si tukang makan tu yang assume that daging was ayam. Had it not because of his friend, selamatlah makan daging babi masak merah tu. 

Apa yang tak safetynya cuba cakap? Dah sah-sah si tukang ambik gambar tu kata yang dia assumed yang kedai tu halal walaupun takdak tanda halal.

Ni lah masalahnya melayu Islam sekarang. Sikit-sikit propaganda Yahudi. Sikit-sikit illuminati. Gila lah rajin buat kajian dan research benda-benda yang tak berfaedah ni. Hence, ramai je budak-budak melayu Islam yang murtad. Daripada kau dok pening-pening nak haram this and that, illumintai this and that, yahudi this and that, ada baiknya kau tanya budak-budak tu why they want to murtad. Kau dapat duit ke?

And my advice kepada tukang ambik gambar, next time be careful. Bila duduk tempat yang sungguh asing dari kebiasaan kita, jangan la berat mulut untuk bertanya. Bila nak makan ke hapa, if dia tak tulis apa jenis daging and segala mak nenek dalam menu tu, tanya la si tukang ambik order tu. Biar lah kita ni nampak fussy, janji kita tak termakan benda-benda macam tu. I pun dah berapa kali terkena. Pelahap sangat kan? Thank God kat UK ni, most restaurant akan tulis bahan-bahan utama dalam makanan yang diorang jual dalam menu. So the chances to accidentally terngap daging oink oink warna pink adalah very thin, unless kalau order salah hantar. Of course la kalau nak selamat, masak la sendiri. Tapi hari-hari masak, penat lah mak senah hey. Sekali sekala kena lah gi Restoren TukDin kat Paddington tu untuk makan nasi lemak barang sepinggan dua. 

My dinner

I might not be as good Dr Lurpak lah dalam hal masak memasak ni. Setakat masak air boleh la. Nak buat caramelised leek dengan grilled salmon teriyaki ni pun puas google. Nasib lah jadi and so far I belum cherry berry lagi sebab makan dinner yang I masak sendiri boleh? 

Lately I really enjoy cooking. Tak tau pasai apa. Hari-hari dok fikir nak masak apa, walaupun most of the time end up dengan masak mee goreng sampah campak-campak. Petanda nak kena pinang ka? Hahaha.

Sekian royanan saya hari ini.

Merawat Luka (akibat jatuh tergolek)

Kau tak tercampak ke baca tajuk posting aku ni Azmir hoi??

I probably the last person you want to ask about relationship as I am not in many serious relationship. Boleh dikira dengan bulu hidung je uols. I ni cepat boring you especially kalau hari-hari dok mengadap muka toya yang sama je. I tak tahu la macam mana uols yang dah kawin beranak pinak tu tahan ye mengadap muka laki/bini masing-masing? Especially up to the point that when your partner tanpa segan silu kentut depan uols. Ish I wonder la how my parents can stand each other especially when both menghasilkan kentut yang sangat vile. Eh matilah mengata parent sendirik. Ampunnnnnn mak abah!

Anyway, I bukannya nak bercakap pasal how to sustain your relationship dengan upacara berkongket secara pukal or kentut sesama sendiri. But I want to talk about people yang suka buruk-burukkan their exes on social networking, and I am not talking about myself. Ye betul, it is not about me. It is about you, you and you (sambil tuding jari). I ni mana la ada orang nak. Tak laku. Lain la macam pondan Dublin tu. Duduk bertenggek (ke bertonggek) kat tepi sungai Dublin tu pun ada jugak orang buta nak grope bonton hang na? Kelas kau Mariah!

I have a senior masa kat uni dulu. Dia ni dah kawin and ada sorang anak. Entah macam mana tah, tup-tup I found out yang dia dah bercerai. So of course la aku kesian kan dan mulalah aku memainkan peranan sebagai Agony Aunt dalam ruangan Keluh Kesah bersama Kak Esah. Takkan la aku nak cucuk jarum pulak. Ish kamu ni!

Tapi yang tak seronoknya, si jantan yang tengok Nora Elina (I absolutely have no idea what it is all about) pun boleh emo meroyan ni, boleh la pulak pergi mencanang keburukkan bekas bininya untuk tatapan seantero FB yang aku pun tak tahu betul ke tak. He said that his wife keluar jumpa jantan tak mintak izin dia la. Bini dia berzina dengan lelaki lain la. Dia kata bini dia nusyuz la and so on. Up to the point that dari rasa kesian, terus aku rasa memang padanlah dengan muka kau!!

Apakah motif dia? Adakah dengan tulis-tulis macam tu orang akan kesian kat dia? If I were his ex wife, akan ku tayang boyfriend baru ku kat fb and rubbing on his face!

Sama la jugak with some of my friends on fb. On their defence, it is their fb, so biarlah kan? Yes betul, memang tu fb kau. Nak meroyan ke, nak apa ke, lantak lah. Tapi tak perlu la nak bagitau hal-hal dalam kain ni semua siap name and shame bagai. Lagipun apa yang you dapat if you mentioned that your partner loved your money more than yourself? Tidak ke itu menunjukkan that you are nothing but a sore loser? Kiasan-kiasan sudah lah. It is a good therapy, I don't deny that. Sebab aku lagi banyak meroyan dari korang semua. Mostly pasal kerja and pasal mak naga. But I never mentioned specifically sapa yang telah diroyankan (boleh ke imbuhan macam ni?) dan dicarutkan. Eh ada kot? Hahaha. Matilah contradict sangat!!

Kalau dah takde jodoh tu nak buat macam mana kan? Kalau bersama pun dah tak sebahagia dulu, asal jumpa je catfight, asal jumpa je bertekak, baik lah berpisah je. Why make your life miserable? Cinta cinta ni bukan boleh dipaksa. There will be the time that your love membara sehangat api. And there will be the time that your love tu suam-suam bontot Lukman je (matilahhhhhh). There are ups and downs. Some people managed to work it out and kembali bahagia. While some, rasa cinta tu makin hari makin kurang, up to the point, I got no more love to give to you. So, it is better to end the relationship. Why trying to heal the wound that can't be heal?

Bila dah berpisah tu, berpisah la baik-baik. Both are adult, so deal the break up like an adult. Tak payah la nak retaliate mengata sesama sendiri. Kau lah salah. You yang jalang lah. Kau lemah tenaga batin maka aku tidak puas lalu berkongkek dengan jantan lain and so on. Apa dapat? Malu ada lah.

I was one of those long-long time ago. You all ingat I ni tak laku ke?? Looking back rasa malu pun ada. Rasa kelakar bijik pun ada. Perlu lah sangat menagih simpati khalayak ramai? Macam takde dignity. Orang menyampah ok aksi mintak simpati ni. Playing victim bagai. But those were ancient time. Ketahuilah, berdiam diri tu lebih baik. If your ex partner decided to flaunt all your dirty laundry, buat buta sudah. Tak payah nak retaliate. Save your energy dengan buat benda lain seperti baca al-Quran dan belajar tajwid.

Speaking of FB and other social networking ni kan, there are things yang in my opinion is ok to mention and there are thing yang tak berapa ok. For instance, saying thank you to your wife for cooking your favourite dinner on her FB wall when in reality, she is actually sitting next to you, and liking or replying your comment at the same time adalah sangat tak perlu. WHY?? WHYYYY? Tak boleh ke cakap terus kat your wife and lepas tu pergi la berkongket barang seround dua sebagai upah sebab bekerja keras memasak your favourite meal? Do you really need to make the whole world acknowledge how much you appreciated your wife's effort? Or is it because you want to make us yang single mingle (dan lanjut usia ni) envy with green to your lovey dovey marriage life?

And if you need to tell your husband that baby dalam perut menendang-nendang everytime you baca surah Yusuf lepas solat, instead of terus bagitau through phone call or text message, why do you need to write on his facebook wall instead? Laki kau bukannya kat Mexico, where phone call or text messaging might be expensive. Laki kau kerja kat Subang je nyah hey!!

Enough with my rambling yang tak berfaedah. Must off to bed now. Cheerio!