Ciao Bella!!!

Buongiorno!!

Ya hampun uols, I baru balik dari Milan ni. Matilah tu pun nak kompang kan?? Hahaha. First time you gi Milan. So sedikit jakun lagi peghak bak kata orang utara. Tak kisah la. Janji, KAU ADO HAZREY?? *matilahhhhh lagi~

Trip ni actually just a treat to myself for my birthday. Ye la, tiada siapa yang sudi bagi hadiah. Maka ku hadiahkanlah diriku dengan hadiah berupa tiket penerbangan pergi balik ke Milan bersama British Airways yang azab nuraka lagi syaitoooonirrajim itu!! Ye lah, mana tak setannya kalau asyik delay ke 24 jam? Masa nak pergi delay 1 jam sebab apa menatang signal failure tah. Masa nak balik London, bukan setakat delay, my flight was cancelled twice!! So I had to called them, nak tunggu bercakap with one of their agent tu macam nak berak sembelit! Apa pun, dah selamat sampai. Syukur sangat. Kalau tak, confirm Mak Naga gila meroyan sebab tak pi kerja.

The Alps, the view from the plane

Duomo Cathedral, Milan. A must visited place.

The delicious gelato

Banduan yang terlepas dari Pulau Jerejak

Milan was great and I enjoyed every bit of my exploration. Except the part kena pau oleh mamat aprika yang jahanam depan cathedral tu. Dia nak pakaikan something aprika charm kononnya bring good luck on my wrist. I said no. But he keep on insisting and say it is ok..it is ok..it will bring you good luck. Pap!! Dia ikat menatang tu kat my wrist and ask 15euro. Barua betul!!! Lucky charm my arse la kan?? So, sapa-sapa yang pi Milan tu, be careful with this culprit! Kalau boleh, kau kahakkan muka dia on my behalf ok?

And there are other news too. My sister dah selamat meletupkan anak sulungnya. So mempersembahkan kepada anda semua, secara live dari Kulim...tadaaadaaaaaaaaaa...

Ammar Harris

Hamboih, nama tak nak kalah kan adik-adik aku ni?? Raudhah la, Iffatun Nisa la. Ni pulak Ammar Harris. Kelas kau Maria. Tak kisah, yang penting, lahir sama bulan dengan Pak Long dia. Hopefully, jangan la ikut perangai dan mulut puaka Pak Longnya ni. Hahaha.

Don't ask me whether dia beranak kat Doktor laki ke perempuan, sebab aku memang tak tau. Yang paling best, doktor bagi date suruh datang hospital untuk induce sebab dah overdue seminggu, bila adik aku pi sana, the doctor boleh la pulak on holiday. Tidak ke tu bangang tahap cipan goreng namanya wahai doktor KPJ Penang Specialist?? Nasib baik la I kat London. Kalau I kat sana, harus I cakar-cakar muka you ye. In the end, my sister kena c-section, but tak sure kat mana. Either at the the same hospital or Kulim Hospital. Apa pun, both mak dengan baby boy sihat walafiat. Alhamdulillah.

One more thing, thanks for all the comments on my previous post yang tak terbalas tu. Kreatif sungguh komen masing-masing. Karipap berasap lah. Cipap lawa lah. Terbalik meja I baca komen-komen uols semua.

Ok I have to go now. Will update soon. Cheerio!!

Apa Masalah Kau Syaitonnnn?

Seriously?

If you guys wonder menatang apa yang I dok or akan membebel ni, sila rujuk entry INI ye. 

Macam ni lah Cik ANUS (nama baru untuk anonymous), soalan saya cik baca dan faham ke tak apa yang saya tulis tu? Saya tahu la bahasa saya memang rojak, lintang pukang lagi tak boleh dibuat tauladan, apatah lagi nak dijadikan rujukan. Confirm lah SPM paper penulisan uols dapat E. Tapi saya tak rasa la yang you that stupid to understand simple bahasa kan? Unless you buat-buat bodoh or bodoh sombong. Yang tu memang saya tak boleh tolong. Only you can help yourself in that matter.

Kan ke saya dah kata kat situ, kalau MAMPU, kalau ada duit berkoyan-koyan makan tak habis, memang la harus you sediakan doktor wanita untuk your wife. Tapi kalau tak mampu, makan pun lauk sardin je, redha je la dengan apa yang hospital kerajaan sediakan. You are not in the position to demand ye. You can request, mintak disediakan doktor wanita. Tapi kalau dah takdak, nak buat macam mana ye dak?

I don't know la why you have to say such thing. Esok lusa ada bini bagi doktor laki buat? Eh mana you tahu esok lusa I akan bini. You know me so well meh?

Nak rakam buat rujukan? Why should I. Kat YouTube berlambak. Tak caya? Pi la search kat YouTube.

Kita kena berusaha dulu baru berserah pada takdir?? Berusaha apanya cik oi? Berusaha beranak sendiri ke? I don't understand usaha apa yang you maksudkan ni? Yang saya tahu, we as a service provider, always try our best to give the best service.

"Kita kena sentiasa berusaha dahulu sebelum berserah pada takdir, baru cakap darurat", <--- seriously tak faham apa yang you cuba nak sampaikan.

You dah tahu baby tu high risk, dah tahu baby tu IUGR and so on, memang la kena berusaha to maksure sure yang baby tu selamat dalam kandungan sampai la dia keluar dari perut maknya.. That is the reason why we did lots of test including ultrasound scan. Mengandung ni memang lah ada risiko. You cakap senang lah sebab you jantan (I assume lah you ni jantan). Yang bini you dok anxious baby ok ke tak. You pulak tak bagi dia jumpa doktor sebab doktor tu laki. Nak tunggu jugak doktor yang perempuan yang available. Tak kesian ke kat bini you??

Orang dulu bersalin pakai bidan tak payah belajar tinggi-tinggi, hidup je semua? Yakin je you kan? You ada statistik ke yang baby yang bidan lahirkan tu semuanya selamat?? 

As I said, pilihan tu kat tangan you. Kalau you rasa bidan lagi hebat, pergi la hantar bini kau kat bidan. Why bother datang hospital kan?

And by the way, saya tak pernah pun cakap saya ni pandai. Kalau saya ni pandaia, dah lama saya jadi doktor pakar bersalin. But I guess I ni pandai la sikit dari you lah kot??

Tonsillitis Berdarah

Well, that was my birthday present this year. Tahun ni takde extravagant celebration. Just me and myself, moving house, deman, lepas tu tonsillitis and end up to A&E due to hemorrhagic tonsillitis. Masalah bertimpa-timpa gituh.

I was very very scared the moment I saw the blood with phlegm when I tried to clear my throat. I spoke with Mak Naga. She called the Superintendent Sonographer, who brought me A&E department. Being a staff, I have a privilege to be seen straight away. I don't have to wait for ours to be seen. Keji kan?

I've been seen by this nice looking silver fox guy in his 40. He confirmed me that my tonsil is inflamed and bleeding for whatever reason he don't know. He can't think any bacteria or virus that can cause bleeding on tonsil, unless if the is a trauma from sharp object which is very unlikely as I can't remember sticking my tonsil with any sharp object. 

And I did not put anything 'funny' in my mouth either ye. Celaka punya komen-komen kat FB. Suka kan buat spekulasi liar tentang dirikiew yang suci kudus ini!!

Anyway, here are some pictures that took on my tonsil. So brace yourself. Kalau tak tahan tengok darah, jangan la tengok yer...

This was on the first day. Ada sedikit blood clot di situ.

Yang ni pun on the first day jugak.

End of day 1, masih bleeding dan terdapat blood clot.

Hari kedua, tonsil masih inflamed dan masih berdarah.

Ni yang paling ngeri. A big blood clot on the left side. Puas nak keluarkan blood clot tu!

Still on day 2.

This is day 3.

Still inflamed tapi dah kurang sikit darah.

Day 3.

Day 4, masih ada lagi darah tapi tak banyak.

On day 5 dan seterusnya, I am mostly recovered and I have not seen blood since. Thank God for that. The doctor took a swab from my tonsil but I have not yet received any result. So I assume it is normal la kot. Otherwise, the doctor will chase after me if there something serious.

This is my fifth time this year to get an infection on my tonsil. Maybe it is time for me to consider tonsillectomy perhaps?? Mrasa guna duit taxpayer!!

PS: Luas kan mulut aku nganga hahaha. Sesuai sangat dengan title mulut jahat, mulut longkang, mulut tempayan dan macam-macam lagi!!

Sok Sek Sok Sek Atas Bas

Sejak-sejak dah duduk dekat hospital ni, memang lah dah tak naik bas. In fact, masa I duduk kat West Ealing dulu pun, I jarang-jarang naik bas, except when it is raining. For some reason, I hate the fact that I have to pay £1.35 for a 10 minutes ride sambil hidung ku kembang kempis menahan bau kencing from pakcik-pakcik yang kencing dalam seluar akibat mabuk tak hingat dunia. Sungguh tak menguntungkan right?

London Bus

But I did enjoy my journey sometime. I enjoy the human observation bits. 

I sat in next to a guy with mental problem once. He asked about my bag and he said that he know that the bag is Louis Vuitton and it is very expensive, bley? I said to him, yes it is Louis Vuitton with a not so bad price. Then he said that I must be very well paid to be able to afford the bag and I said that I am not. It was from my saving. He said he don't believe me and I replied that it is up to you to believe me or not. We did not spoke for a while, and after that he started to speak with his imaginary friend and started to shout and curse. Ayoyo kadewale. 

There was one time I sat behind this Asian girl. Ni set maria mariammah la ni, but very modern. Beranak kat sini la kot. Sebab selalunya yang beranak kat sini adalah set-set lupa daratan lagi tak ingat keturunan, very the peanut forgot the skin you know *ya hampun*. So si pompuan ni dok khusyuk mengadap beri hitam (blackberry lah). I didn't meant to be penyibuk, tapi tertengok la kan konsepnya. Dia tengah dok membaca email. Dan di dalam email itu ada gambar-gambar vagina yang telah ditusuk oleh perbagai jenis sayur-sayuran seperti terung, mentimun dan juga carrot. Nasib baik la takdak petola kan?? Ish ish pagi-pagi buta dah memenuhkan kepala dengan benda-benda yang tak elok. Kot ye pun la kan gersang, why it has to be sayur-sayuran?? Daripada buat jolok-jolok vagina, baik buat bagi makan kat orang-orang homeless yang berpeleseran tu. Pergi la cari dildo Ann Summers kat Hounslow tu akak oi. Kau nak yang kepala dua? Kepala tiga? Kepala berputar-putar? Kepala ular senduk? Semua ada!!

I have eavesdropped people conversation too. Well, not really eavesdrop pun. Tahu je la set-set gagak pariah council estate ni memang suka bercakap kuat gegak gempita satu bus macam nak bagitau satu bas. These 2 girls were talking about pregnant and stuffs. Alkisahnya one the girl accidentally termengandung la. Bangang pun ye jugak. Dah kau feeling menyemai cinta bersamamu tanpa pakai condom, takkan la hasilnya taik kot? Dah sah-sah la membuat anak namanya kan. Dia bagitau kawan dia yang dia tak nak bagitau the guy yang dia pregnant sebab the guy adalah boyfriend cousin dia katanya. Boleh macam tu? Jerry Springer sangat!

I pun pernah jugak eavesdropped perbualan 2 ekor jantan gagak yang tanpa segan silunya menceritakan tentang burung-burung gagak hitam betina yang mereka tiduri. Sangat tak perlu!! Sorang-sorang try to top each other dengan cerita-cerita berapa banyak 'bird' yang diorang dapat. Eleh. I suspect yang diorang ni propa je lebih. Sebab majoriti gagak-gagak ni memang suka mereka-reka dan menokok nambah cerita. Diorang tak tahu yang Mak Leemah punya kedai tenun tu lagi meriah!! *matilahhhh~

Yang bergaduh atas bas, bergaduh dengan bas driver, bergaduh laki bini pun ada jugak. 

Tapi I tak kisah semua tu. Yang pasti sekarang, I don't have to terkejar-kejar bas pagi-pagi buta macam selalu. Driver bas pun kadang-kadang boleh tahan celakanya. Selamat duit aku dan juga selamat hidungkiewww yang mungil inniewwwww!!

Sekian.

Comeback lah konon...

It is almost a month now since my last update. Lama kan? My life has been a bit porak peranda since I am back from Malaysia. Tak cukup dengan segala masalah passport expired, terlepas flight so on and so forth, bila balik ke UK, I felt out dengan si tua-si tua keparat tu uols, which in the end, I pun buat keputusan untuk berambus keluar dari rumah tu.

Alhamdulillah, I managed to find a room in a flatshare. Kalau kat Malaysia, sebut je duduk kat flat mesti korang terbayang flat pekeliling or flat bandaraya yang sebesar kangkangan kucing tu. Oh tidak ye. Ni nama je flat. Tapi saiz dia besar la dari flat pekeliling, mahupun flat-flat pariah council estate tu uols. This flat have 5 bedrooms with the lounge, kitchen (with 2 big fridges), 2 bathroom and 1 shower room. Since the shower room tu next to my room, so I got the whole shower room (with toilet) to myself!

The view from my desk

And the best part is that this place pulak is about 5 minutes walking from tempat kerja. Kalau ikutkan map, the hospital is actually sebelah je. I basically can see the hospital (dan jugak wad untuk pesakit mental) from the kitchen window. Kentut pun boleh dengar. Tapi tu lah, had they not built tembok yang sikit punya besar, boleh je mencelah masuk. Tak payah jalan pergi main road.

To share a flat with 5 people, sounds crowded. Tapi trust me, not at all sebab all of us are very private person. 2 of the girls kerja as BA flight attendant. So memang jarang-jarang kat rumah. Yang selalu ada adalah the guy (who work as an accountant) and the other girl who is a student.

Surrounding area

So far so good. Haven't seen anyone trouble side yet. All of them are very nice, except perempuan-perempuan ni semua jenis pemalas basuh pinggan. Jenis suka kumpul sampai berkarat, baru basuh gituh. Especially hat yang kerja flight attendant tu la. Balik dari bertugas baru nak basuh gituh. Tercampak akak!! Yang the guy, sangat berdisiplin dan pembersih. He always cleaning. Jenis kalau masak, he will wash the dishes on the go. Tapi jenis basuh style orang putih la. Basuh dengan buih, tapi tak bilas you...terus lap dengan kain gituh. Tercampak lagi akak! Itu macam pun boleh ka??

So now I am settled and back on the track...again!! Hopefully everything going to be ok.