Wednesday, May 09, 2012

Cerita Pendek (or Pundek?)

PATIENT #1

This lady came to me for an anomaly scan. For someone who already had 2 girls from previous pregnancy, I am pretty sure that she is eager to know the sex of the baby. Mind you, ni set from benua kap lam tu ha.

So when I am about to finish, I asked her whether she want to know the sex or not. The husband prefer to find out during birth but the wife (who actually don't understand a word of English) wanted to know it during the scan. So I told her, it is a girl.

Then you know what happen next.

She went hysterical!! She keep on saying, "Oh my god...NO NO NO...Oh my god...Haishi baba...NO NO NO". Aku pun tak tau lah menatang apa 'haishi baba' tu. Aku cakap la, sabaq na puan..yang penting baby tu ok. The husband pun try pujuk (which is interesting sebab selalunya puak-puak jantan set-set ni la yang selalu meroyan). Husband ok, bininya pulak tak ok. She went on and on and it was so loud that Mak Naga from next door pun dengar and she came to interrupt and wonder what's going on. So I told lah mak naga what the issue was and mak naga pun cobalah to calm the patient down dengan membari kata-kata semangat.

"It's all right, the most important thing the baby is normal. Boy or girl does not matter".

But the lady keep on meroyan, so mak naga pun gave her piece of mind.

"Listen, listen...boy or girl it doesn't matter. You should be happy that the baby is normal. You are a woman too. What if your mother gave up on you? You would not be here today!!".

Mak naga 1, patient 0.

PATIENT #2

This is another patient, also from benua-benua kap lam tu. She came for dating scan, but the embryo was so small that I have to do the transvaginal scan. So I explained to her the procedure and yada yada yada. I pun tanya la dia, "Mung pahang ke dok?". Dia angguk. Paham la kot?

So after she took off her pants and lied down on the examination couch, I pun ambik la menatang probe to and try to insert it through her karipap (ish sungguh detail!). But I can't really see where to put it. Maklum la dalam bilik gelap, patient pun gelap, terus la gelap masa depan. Ya hampun!

Then, I asked her to open her legs a little bit wider so that I can see 'you know what'. Korang tahu apa dia buat?? She used her both hands to spread the labia sebesar-besar alam instead, sampaikan jelas kelihatan the vaginal opening (and other pinkish stuffs!)!! Tak pasal-pasal aku blushing di situ! Lain aku suruh, lain yang dia buat. Ayoyo kadewaley!

One of my acquaintance said that I have the best job in the world because I can see lots of pussy. Ni kalau mak aku yang dengar, sure kena cili mulut tu. That fact is, that is the least interesting part of my job. Kalau boleh, I try to avoid from doing it. Unless kalau dah takdak option nak buat macam mana ye dak?

Because of this incident, tak pasal-pasal quote about "The world is your oyster" bermain-main kat kepala ni. 

Apa kaitan oyster dengan semua ni?

12 comments:

Pok Amai-Amai said...

Hahahahaha! Taoi rs mcm kesian lak dgn patient no 2 tu. Niat nak nolong tu supaya ley nmpk dgn jelas-sejelas-jelasnya. Hahahahahaha!

-ArmsRenee- said...

Thanx for making me smiling and gelak sorang-sorang macam orang giler this morning....

Nak tepuk tangan pada jawapan mak naga.... Hahahaha....

bukankosong said...

kih kih

sesekali pe salahnya :P

Anonymous said...

yg penting patient no.1....handsome x suami dia????

petir!!!!!!

-opah vouge

mIE said...

ambikawww...oyster katanyerr hahahahah pitemss nak gelak

Izuan Kunang-Kunang said...

MommyFara, niat tu baik sampaikan aku ni tersipu-sipu disitu hahaha.

ArmsRenee, kan?? Nasib baik dia datang interfere sebab I dah tak tau nak buat apa.

Bukankosong, harap-harap tak ada lah kali kedua.

Izuan Kunang-Kunang said...

Opah Vogue, tak hensem pun. Buku lali I lagi hensem.. *matilahhhhh~

Mie, jangan pitam-pitam.

Izuan Kunang-Kunang said...

Opah Vogue, tak hensem pun. Buku lali I lagi hensem.. *matilahhhhh~

Mie, jangan pitam-pitam.

Anonymous said...

well done to mak naga hehhee...

dah macam2 jenis karipap you tengok ye hahahaa...

yatie

Anonymous said...

Adoi!!!!! keras perut ..
Kak Nony (Nama u bagik)

PUTUBAMBU said...

macam2 ragam patient ada yek..

letih dibuatnya!

Izuan Kunang-Kunang said...

Yatie, ha ah macam-macam karipap. Tinggal karipap pusing je belum muahaha

Kak Nony, ni Kak Nony of USA tu ka? Hehehe.

Kak PB, memang macam. Tak terlayan saya.